Sunday, 22 January 2017
Why I Stopped Giving a F**k
For as long as I can remember, I have felt incredibly self-conscious, so much so it consumed me. This isn't something new; lets be real here, its easy to get sucked in to these conformations made by society.
Over the Years, my lack of confidence and self-doubt has ruled over anything else I have set my mind to. I've pretty much become a shell of the person I once was (quirky, a little bit weird, BUT happy). I stopped going to certain places and doing certain things because I thought that people would judge me. Not only on my appearance; but on my life choices, my opinions, my hobbies, my sense of humour, my lifestyle. I thought that there was something wrong with me. My mental health was at a tipping point and I didn't want to do anything, I didn't think I was good enough.
Why the f*ck do we let what other people think/what society thinks/what we think other people think stop us doing the things we enjoy? I think I have finally had that epiphany moment in life where I've realized how sh*t some people can be and how the pressures and demands of having a picture-perfect life is absolute trash.
I'm fully aware that I don't have a flat stomach. I have dark circles under my eyes and blemishes on my cheeks. I get words mixed up and make myself look stupid most of the time. My home decor would never been seen on the likes on Pinterest. I'm un-organised and messy and easily irritated and I hate kale smoothies and I don't like sexism nor find it funny. Most of the time my hair resembles the likeliness of a hedge and I'm not interested in fitting in. I'm certainly not anybodies idea of perfection. For Years I would have loved to have some form of validation by other people. Why did I care? Why on earth did I crave society's ideal of looking a certain way, dressing a certain way, acting a certain way. It made me incredibly miserable. Never being able to achieve that high standard of perfection made me feel down and now I'm wondering why I wanted that. Its not me. And that is okay.
You don't have to prove yourself to anyone. If they don't like you, f*ck 'em, you're you and you're an absolute babe living your life for you so its their loss. Do the stuff that you like and spend your time with the people that plaster a massive grin on your face.